Another Blessing

Man, it sure has been a long time since I have gotten on here. Days just seem to fly by and I don't even realize it. This summer has been a pretty crazy one.

So, I ended up having my Mirena out in March. I have tried and tried to talk Steven into getting a vasectomy, but he has chickened out so far. Anyways, the week of our anniversary, I took a pregnancy test and it was positive. At first, I cried because I wasn't wanting another baby. I feel bad about ever feeling that way, but it was how I felt. After a few days of thinking about it, I was coming around to the thought of having another baby. I would get the gushy feeling when I saw one or heard one cry. Yay! We are having a baby!

At about 6 weeks, I started cramping and bleeding, neither of which I have ever had with the other pregnancies. I went into my doctor's office to check it out. There it was on the screen, a beating heart and the bean shape of a baby! It's real now! Yay!

The following Saturday I woke up bleeding worse. We went into the ER and I saw him again! What a glorious sight! A little beating heart and our sweet baby! This was the first time Steven had seen it and he was starting to get the gushy feeling too.

I had to go back the next Tuesday for an update ultrasound to make sure everything was ok. Well, it wasn't. His little heart had stopped. So heartbreaking. I was at a loss for words. I couldn't even describe how bad I felt. That is the worst feeling I have ever had! All I could think about is, how do people purposely kill their babies?!

After a week of crying and praying nonstop, I am starting to do a little better. I still tear up at the thought or talking about it. I have to take comfort in knowing that God needing this baby to be with Him more that He needed him to be with us. I know I will see him (I feel like the baby was going to be a boy) again. I truly can't wait to meet him!

If you are ever going through a tough time, I encourage you to listen to "He is with us" by Love & the Outcome. It is the perfect song to help you overcome tough times!

Busy Bee

Geez! It has been a while. Life has gotten super busy for us. I haven't had time to do anything. Besides Steven and I both working, we have a child in piano, a child in karate, and a child in baseball. And did I mention that we (well, Steven mainly) are coaching the ball team. Plus church and church activities, volunteering, and my sewing. We are some busy bees!

The biggest thing that has been on my mind recently is Mason. I have been working on coming to terms that he has something going on in his little mind. I believe he has ADHD. We are going to a doctor at the beginning of May to confirm. It is a really hard thing to admit that your child has "something wrong" with them. It makes you feel like a failure as a mom. But I know I am not the only one who has gone through this and there are much worse things that could be wrong with him. I am studying up on it as much as I can and keeping it in my prayers. God will lead us to what we need to do for him.

So on top of the non-stop chaos of our lives, I have been mentally dealing with this. I need a vacation!

Happy New Year

It has been a while since I have had a chance to write anything. The holidays came and went so fast. And, as always, they were crazy! Cooking, people coming and going, wrapping and unwrapping, shopping, and everything else that comes with the holidays. I am pooped. And oh so ready for the kids to go back to school! Yay! Tomorrow can't get here quick enough.
I don't usually make New Year's resolutions. I never, ever follow through with them. I guess my resolution would be to not make any more resolutions. I could do that. We, as a family, are all going to try to eat better and be more active and healthy, but I'm not saying I am going to "lose weight" or "get to be a size 4". I am just going to be more healthy. I also decided to take on a year long project. I am going to collect all of the money that I find on the ground throughout the year to see how much it is. We will see how that goes.